Much Ado About Keanu

Ok, this has bothered me for a long time and now I have a place to really bitch about it. Kenneth Brannagh's "Much Ado About Nothing" could possibly be one of the best filmed versions of Shakespeare ever. I truly believe that few directors really understand The Bard better than Brannagh and he has a knack of translating that understanding to the screen on a regular basis. His casting is always inspiring (Jack Lemon and Billy Crystal in Hamlet for example).

"Much Ado" has an equally brilliant cast, many of whom are Brannagh regulars like Brian Blessed, Richard Briers and Imelda Staunton. I thought casting Denzel as the Prince was an odd but intersting and succesful choice, and as always Rober Sean Leonard shines as Count Claudio, almost type casting. Not to mention an actress who I have loved (and would give my right testicle to work with) since the first time I saw her in "The Tall Guy", Emma Thompson. She might very well be one of the top 3 or 4 four actresses of our time. The rest of the cast is filled out with fantastic British character actors, and lovely cameos by Michael Keaton as Constable Dogberry and Ben Elton as Headborough Verges. They were absolutely brilliant. SO....

WHAT THE FUCK IS KEANU REEVES DOING IN THIS MOVIE.

Now, having been in the film business for quite some time, a number of possibilities have occurred to me. Lets explore them shall we?

Possibility #1-
The studio (the guys who pay for everything) said to Our friend Kenneth,
"You may have the money to make your film but you must put Keanu Reeves in it."
"But why?" Kenneth asks confused.
"Because" the Studio president says with a look of disgust "No one wants to see this Shakespeare guy, and at least if we put Keanu in it, all the little girls will come out to see it and we might make a buck".

Possibility #2 -
Keanu heard about the project and quicky ran home and had his maid read the play to him. In his rather dull mind he saw himself as "John the Bastard" and this film would change his image and people might start confusing him with Olivier, or perhaps Oliver Platt....

Possibility #3 -
Kenneth Brannagh received a rather large concussion from and anvil falling on his head and thought it was a good idea...

It is probably safe to say that #3 is right out.

While #2 has reall possibilities, I don't thin Keanu could have even understood the play on his own.

That leaves us with #1. Once again and artist, filmmaker, director must compromise his vision to appease some block head in a suit who wouldn't know a good script or a quality project if it crawled up his ass, out his mouth and winked at him.

The only good thing to come out of it is that apparently most of Keanus scenes were left on the cutting room floor. So he is in the film for less than 5 minutes in total.

So, we are left with an A+ film, with 5 minutes of unwatchable footage, and a Shakesperean legacy, from a man who truly knows what Shakespeare is and isn't; that even Hollywood couldn't completely corrupt.

There, I've said it!!!!!!!