Friends

One of the many movie lines that has stayed with me for a long time comes from the film "Stand By Me'. It's the last line of the film. Richard Dreyfuss is finishing up his book and he speaks as he types " I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" I have been thinking about this recently.

Within the last year two of my close friends moved out of state for various reasons. One to Florida and one to Arizona. The one who moved to Florida (we'll call him Ghengis) I have known since I was 18 (that's 21 years to you and me) and the one who moved to AZ, we'll call him "P", I have only known a short time (about 5 years) but we became fast and close friends. When you are younger (high school, college, early twenties) you have lots of friends and people come in and out of your life, the impact isn't that big. As you get older, you have fewer and fewer true friends. Peopls move away and you don't get really close to many people. You have your own family and your own personal "Stuff" so who has time for real "freindships". So when they do happen, you kind of take it for granted that these people are in your life and will always be.

My buddy Ghengis and I have a lot of history. 21 years of madness and mayhem. We lived 42 years in those 21 and he was my best friend for many years. Even if we didn't speak for weeks or months it didn't matter. When we got together for a beer it was buisness as usual.

"P" is a different story. We became friends through as mutual hobby and were very tight. He is the kind of guy who will go out of his way for anyone and someone who you can rely upon to be there for you in times of crisis. He was with me when my wife went into labor. He made sure that everyone who needed to be at the hospital got there (in Brooklyn, many folks don't have cars, "P" has a big car) and was with my folks in the waiting room. He has baby-sat for my daughter and bailed me out of trouble a number of times.

The crazy thing is that both are just a phone call away. But it's not the same thing. It screws up your equilibrium. There is no, "let's go get a beer" or come on over and we can shoot the shit. Those are the things you miss.

When we were kids, we thought we would have the same friends for ever. The bubble was burst right after graduation. I found out that none of my high school friend were destined to remain in my life. In fact, my best friend from high school, went away to school (we all did) and wrote us all off. We never saw him again.

There's no real point being made here, just an observation. Friends come and go, so enjoy them while they are here. When they're not, use the phone. It's not the next best thing. It's just the only thing.