15 For Life

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day (the one who moved to Florida). He was complaining about his job (and really hating Florida if you must know the truth). Right now his biggest complaint is that he has to report for school (he’s a teacher) August 4th. That means that he cannot attend a major event in the hobby that we both participate in. This will be the second year in a row. Last year was the same story but a week later. So he assumed this year he would be able to swing it. Then they just sprung this new earlier schedule on him. Well, me being the good friend I am, I said, what if you just tell them you ain’t gonna be there until the 12th. Of course he thought that was very amusing. I said, “Hey that’s what I would do.” He said “ I know, that’s why you’ve never had a real job for more than a couple of months.”

I started to think about that. He was right. The longest “real job” I ever had (defining “real job” as one with regular hours which you are required to show up at every week) was about 6 months. It’s true. Most of my adult life since college, (which was a disaster in itself, we’ll save that for another blog), I have been working freelance jobs in theatre and film. Now granted, there is a whole slew of pressures that come along with that kind of life , not the least of which is where your next pay check is coming from. But you learn to deal with it.

So now, 6 months from turning 40, I realize that my job (if you can call being a filmmaker a job, I have always thought a job was something you had to go to, not wanted to) requires me to be 15. Now granted, I worked thousands of hours to get where I am for free and very low wages (the whole dues thing) and that was very grown up. But being a director requires being able to put all of that aside and be 15 again, At the end of the day, the project (what ever that happens to be) is my vision. Of course there is a tremendous amount of responsibility that comes along with that. Particularly when you are playing with other peoples money. I am as serious as a heart attack when we are on set. But for that brief time that we are creating, I get to be 15 years old and it’s all about me getting what I want.

Then my partner (the producer) tells me,
“Sorry, you can’t have it, it’s not in the budget” …..

Then I really feel like I am 15. I remember there was this BB gun I wanted ….