Where are they now?

Yesterday while I was procrastinating and not getting any writing done I decided to do a little web surfing to see if I could track down a couple of my childhood friends. I found a number of them and oddly enough most have normal upper middle class lives -- Doctors, Lawyers, one went in to local politics in California. Then I came across 2 of my very good friends who I lost contact with right after HS.
The first one, we'll call him Poncho, is now a defense lawyer specializing in "The Mob". Yes, the "The Mob". This is perfect, You have to understand, this is the same guy that talked me into running away to Pittsburgh to become miners when we were in 9th grade. He got thrown out of a number of High Schools as well as private schools. I also heard that he was involved in a scandal at a prominent Prep School. He could sell snow to eskimos and get them to return the snow when they were done with it. He always managed to survive and get his way. And he could argue. HE could argue with you until you just had to give in. He would rant and rave, pull his hair out of his head. It was as amusing as it was effective. Well, now he has his own practice and has defended a number of high profile mobsters, who's names you would probably recognize. Well done Poncho, well done....

The second one, who we will call Goofy, also played to his strengths. He was the consumate bullshit artist. He had a story for every occassion, but unlike Poncho, we never believed him. He also would do just about anything to get a woman. If she wanted him to be taller he would have put lifts in his shoes. If she wanted him bald he would have shaved his head. So now, I find out that he has been a highly respected "Motivational Speaker/Author)" for some years, (though highly respected and motivational speaker don't really sit well together) and now, he has found Jesus. It was only a matter of time. Keep in mind he was born Jewish and attended a well known Hebrew Day School. I read his little bio and he says his new wife, "Showed him the way", yeah I bet she did. And if she had happened to be Mao-ist, he'd be running around in one of those little hats and riding a bicycle everywhere. If she had been Shaker he'd be making rocking chairs. If she was a Mormon he'd be running around with the Magic Sunglasses. Still the Bullshit artist. But now he is getting paid for it. It all just makes perfect sense.

I often ask myself how I got to where I am now. It seems to me the path was not as bizarre as some others .... and I take comfort in that.

What's new and Interesting in the World of Charlie?

Well let's see.
1. There is another youngin' on the way, (she is due in late April) yes it's a girl. We don't like surprises. To quote a very funny man, Paul Reiser "It's one of two things, if it's a third thing, say an Owl, I would like to know, only good can come from knowing."

2. The new child brings with it all kinds of joyous life altering situations. To start with, we never really planned for 2 kids so our lovely Brooklyn home does not have enough rooms to raise the new forthcoming seedling. So, off with roof and a third story will be built. The new floor will house not only my wife and I, but my new spacious office as well. My office in the basement will be home to our soon to be live in nanny/babysitter. Now I am the last person I would ever have thought would have a live in nanny. Unfortunately we have no choice. As soon as my wife goes back to work after the child arrives, I will be (hopefully will be) going into pre-production on my next film. That will not leave a lot of time for diaper changing and drop offs and pick ups to school. So that's where the new nanny comes in. We found a woman who id great, gets a long great with the current rugrat and is completely qualified to mind the forth-coming heir to the Charlie Empire. (Well, one man's empire is another man's walk in closet).

3. My last film project is just about ready to go into the final phases of postproduction and then hopefully a sale to a major cable company. Last Girl On Earth has honored me by agreeing to compose the soundtrack for the movie. I can't wait to hear what she comes up with.

4. While I put the finishing touches on RLD I have already began to lay the groundwork for my next film. While it's a bigger project than my last one, I think it will be easier to shoot. After this last movie, I have a whole new respect for people who do large scale war movies. shooting battle scenes is no easy task. give me four guys sitting in a room talking and making jokes any day of the week!!! The good news is the next film will be shot right here in Brooklyn. So I will get to roll out of bed and pretty much be on set in 5 minutes. That should beat the heck out of 16 days in a hotel in Maryland and 30 days away from home.

I am going to try and start writing regularly again. I have been so busy that I haven't really had a chance to be pissed off about what's going on in the world. I think I am ready to start ranting again.

Rising above their own limitations...

Finally the Democrats have managed not to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It looks like they will not just own the HoR but the Senate as well. Let's see how long it takes them to screw this up....

Am i cynical? You bet your ass I am.

Corky and the Juice Pigs on Madtv!!

Three of the funniest guys to ever walk the earth.

Tell Me Something I Don't Already Know

Civil Libertarian You scored 83% Personal Liberty and 50% Economic Liberty!

A civil libertarian believes in little to no government intervention on personal matters and moderate government intervention on economic matters. As the name implies, a Civil Libertarian's main concern is with civil liberties - personal matters. They tend to be strongly opposed to war, police powers, victimless crimes, and foreign intervention. Civil Libertarians may tend to believe in a social safety net, but to a lesser extent then most leftists. Strong Civil Libertarians are somewhat inclined towards supporting capitalism as an economic system. A civil libertarian strongly believes in protecting personal liberty. They strongly support self-ownership and privacy.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Personal You scored higher than 99% on Economic

Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

The Current Middle Ages

One would assume that with the biggest, most important movie of my life rolling camera in exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow I would be hunkered down going over last minute details, chatting and rehearsing with my actors, worrying over budgets and equipment lists.
Well you would be wrong. Everything is in hand (because along with the biggest movie of my life I also have the biggest crew of my life, and they all pretty much kick ass). This has left me with a lot less to do than I normally would have expected.

So...

This afternoon I am off to a place where Kings, Queens, Knights and Squires (of which I am one) roam the world in a semi inebriated stupor for two weeks. A place where close to 2000 long haired hippy types will put on armor and beat the snot out of each other in the hot sun.

Yes this is PENNSIC.

The Ramadan, 12 Days Of Xmas, Kwansa, Sturgis, Mardi Gras, Spring Break and Purim of the SCA.

Society for Creative Anachronism

Pennsic is a 2 week war that pretty much attracts between 11,000 to 14,000 people from all over the "Known World" (which means all 19 kingdoms from all over the United States, Canada, Europe & Australia). We recreate the middle ages not the way it was but the way it ought to have been. Very few peasants (unless one chooses to be so). Lots of mirth and merriment and very little plague and pestilence other than Pennsic Plague which is often akin to Montezuma's Revenge.

Anyhow, this is how my friends and I have been spending the first two weeks of Aug for a whole lot of years. This will be the 35th Pennsic.

So while I will have my computer and production book with me, it is far more likely that I will be holding a nice cold tankard of home brewed Mead (I make a mean Mead) then a production schedule for the next 11 days or so.

Let the games begin.

Jews For Cheeses

My buddy just started his first Blog. It's called "Jews For Cheeses" and it's pretty funny. You should check it out.
I really mean it.
YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT.

Jews For Cheeses

Cheese Wheel: Rejected Cartoons

Ok this is so bizarre and funny you really need to watch it. An I mean YOU!!!!!!!


Cheese Wheel: Rejected Cartoons

Massaging The Chancellor

This is something my buddy Mike put together in honor of Mr. Bush's close encounter withthe Chancellor of Germany.
Enjoy

Stuff That Makes Me Laugh

Ok, I know it's sick but I have watched this clip about 50 times and everytime I watch it I laugh my ass off. I know it's childish, but this is freakin' funny.

How honest are you ... really....

I thought this survey was particularly interesting as honesty is something I value most in the people around me.
I guess I am about as honest as you can be without alienating most of the populace around me.

You Are 80% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear. Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

Production Update

So it's been a while but we are now T minus 4 weeks in counting before we begin principal photography on my next feature film. I have been pretty silent about this one for a number of reasons, however as we are almost completely cast and crewed up I think it is safe to talk about this one as there is very little chance of this one falling apart.

As some of you may know and many of you may not know, in my spare time (basically when I am not yelling at some agent or begging for financing) I participate in a couple of hobbies. One in which I put on armor and hit my close friends with a rattan great sword. The other hobby is One where I dress up in Red Pantaloons and a fez and recreate obscure battles from the late part of the 19th Century in the US.

Yes I am a member of the SCA and a Civil War reenactor.

There I have said it.

I am also a student of history and an amateur Civil War Historian. The group I belong to, the "5th NY Volunteer infantry Duryee's Zouaves" was one of the finest regiments that fought in the war. My friend Brian Pohanka who died last year (see blog installment June 18, 2005) finished the regimental history about the 5th a month or so before he passed away. The movie we are about to make is based on his book and with any luck the book will be published at the same time the movie is released.

This is the largest movie I have ever made. Over 70 actors and a crew of close to 40. It's huge. However I have great people working with me and for me and I think we are going to have one hell of a final product when all is said and done,

I am going to try yet a again to keep a production journal and I will post interesting or funny things that happen during the shoot.

Ok, I have procrastinated long enough.... back to work.

A little bit about me

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:
Birthday:
Birthplace:	Flushing NY
Current Location:	Brooklyn NY
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Brown
Height:	5'8"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Left
Your Heritage:	Jewish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Chuck Taylors - red Hi-Tops
Your Weakness:	Weakness? I say HA
Your Fears:	Fears? President Jeb Bush
Your Perfect Pizza:	Crawfish, Andouille Sausage, Goat Cheese, Xtra Mozarella thin crust - well done
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Sell RLD
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Man I gotta piss
Your Best Physical Feature:	My Aura
Your Bedtime:	When I am done
Your Most Missed Memory:	1983 - 1993
Some people drink Pepsi some people drink Coke:	And Some Drink Cok 0 because it rocks
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Wendy's if anything
Single or Group Dates:	I don't date
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Straight plain unsweetened tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	there is only chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	double esspresso
Do you Smoke:	no - never have
Do you Swear:	I'm from Brooklyn - What the fuck do you think?
Do you Sing:	daily
Do you Shower Daily:	daily
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	I can proudly say I have been thrown out of some of the finest institutions NY State has to offer
Do you want to get Married:	Already am
Do you belive in yourself:	Stupid question - Next
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	Of course
Are you a Health Freak:	Are you nuts
Do you get along with your Parents:	yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	Several - really well
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	of course
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yet another dumb question
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	unfortunately no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	yes a number of times
In the past month have you been on Stage:	nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:	nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nope
Ever been Drunk:	Ha
Ever been called a Tease:	nope
Ever been Beaten up:	yup
Ever Shoplifted:	nope
How do you want to Die:	in my sleep after a great shag
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I am already it and I don't have to grow up
What country would you most like to Visit:	Scotland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
Favourite Hair Color:
Short or Long Hair:
Height:
Weight:
Best Clothing Style:
Number of Drugs I have taken:	You can't count that high
Number of CDs I own:	Who can count that high
Number of Piercings:	none now - had 4 a long time ago
Number of Tattoos:	2
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	I Regret Nothing - It's all about the trip
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Finally, a poll worth taking

This reminded me of that old Saturday Night Live skecth about the Justice League. Margot Kidder was the host that night.
Margot Kidder .... Lois Lane
Dan Aykroyd .... The Flash
John Belushi .... The Incredible Hulk
Jane Curtin .... Lana
Garrett Morris .... Antman
Bill Murray .... Superman
Laraine Newman .... Cookie
Gilda Radner .... Beverly

It was the one of the funniest sketches ever. Complete with Bill Murray showing up half dressed as Clark Kent / Superman and John Belushi taking a massive "Hulkian Dump" in the bathroom and stinking out the joint. But for me the funniest part of the sketch was when Garret Morris who was "Ant Man" was asked what his special power was and he said he could shrink down to the size of an ant and stil have the powers of a mortal man. The rest of the super heros start mocking him, "Hey Hulk, get this, Ant man shrinks down to the size of an ant and has "powers of a mortal man" ... It was very funny.

Anyway, I guess I'm kind of glad that I'm not Ant Man. I already have powers of a mortal man. And who wants to be the size of an ant.

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 90% Green Lantern 80% Spider-Man 65% Superman 60% Supergirl 60% Wonder Woman 60% Catwoman 60% Robin 50% Batman 50% Hulk 50% The Flash 35%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

So Many Pods, not enough Socks Filled With Manure

So, I spent the last two weeks down in Virginia doing various film things (casting, location scouting, crew meetings etc.). For the most part things went very well.
However...
As with all things in this business the pods inevitably raise their leechy pod-like heads. We had roughly 15 or 16 people scheduled to come in to read. There is always an attrition rate at auditions of about 35%, it's to be expected. While it bothers me that with the small amount of jobs out there that pay, actors would try their damnedest to show up to an audition. Maybe it's just me but that shows a real lack of desire. But hey, it's just me.

Anyway...

We had a woman scheduled to come in to read for the only principle female part in the movie. Now keep in mind, she answered OUR ad. We didn''t contact her. She contacted us. When my Production Manager called to give her the details for the auditions, the only contact number we had for this woman was her "Agency". There is a misconception out there amongst less experienced actors (mostly those outside of the NYC / LA area). They think that if they have an "agent" it will make them look more important and we will take them more seriously. That's never the case. For starters we hate dealing with agents. They make it impossible for their clients to work because of unrealistic demands and their blood money (so if it's low budget they don't get their pound of pod flesh). However, it is even worse when the agent is a fly by night no name pod agency that charges the actors money to represent them. These are pods of the lowest order. However the agency we dealt with if you can call it that was even lower. When my Prod. Mgr. called to set up the audition it was like dealing with a half wit. We are pretty sure it was the actresses home number and it was her mom or someone answering the phone. I have never called and agency and had the person answering the phone just say "Hello" without saying the name of the agency. When you call CAA or ICM or William Morris you know it as soon as they pick up the phone. We called this place and the conversation went something like this:

Pod Agency/Mom/Actress: Hello

My Prod. Mgr: Is this _____Talent Agency

Pod Agency/Mom: Uh,,,, Hold on ,,,,

Wait, wait, wait, (translation - 'Hey Mom make believe you're _____ Talent Agency".

MOM: Uh This is _____ Talent agency can I help you?

My Prod. Mgr: Yes, (Actress name here) was supposed to be here two hours ago and we are waiting on her, This is a courtesy call as we are going to pack up and leave.

MOM: Um well she was told to be there between 2- 5pm. It's only 4:00pm

My PRod. Mgr.: Actually no, she was told to be here at 2pm and be prepared to stay for a while probably until 5pm because we were going to mix and match the different roles.

MOM: (uncomfortable silence) Umm, I will call (Actress Name here) and see where she is ....

My PRod. Mgr. : Thanks, please call me back and let me know where she is, I have 5 actors sitting here waiting on her,

Needless to say, we don't hear back from her. So by this point I am fed up with the Podness that is happening here. I call back the Pod Agency.

Pod MOM: Hello

Me: Is this ____ Talent Agency?

Pod Agency/Mom: Uh,,,, Hold on ,,,,

Wait, wait, wait, (translation - 'Hey Mom make believe you're _____ Talent Agency".

MOM: Uh This is _____ Talent agency can I help you?

Me: Yes, I am sitting at an audition waiting for one of your actors to show up. I have 5 actors waiting on her and she was supposed to be here at 2 it is now 4:30. This is no way to do business.

MOM: Well she was told to be there between 2 & 5

Me: (6 hours into auditions and at the end of my tether). BULLSHIT! I know what she was told. She was told the same thing as everyone else who showed up on time, Do you think we made special arrangements for her. NO NO NO NO we didn't. She isn't here and you are full of shit. This is no way to do business and clearly a rinky dinky jerk water agency in the middle of bumfuck Pennsylvania can't even manage to get their "Talent" here on time. I am going to make sure that everyone I know, knows who you are and will never hire another client of yours again.

Now while I am spouting all of this and more, she is trying to talk over me. It was hysterical. The more she tried to bullshit me I just kept talking over her. I was having a good time and letting go of some well earned stress, I hung up on her. Of course the actress never showed up anyway, She called at 5:30pm to apologize. My Prod. Mgr told her she would see if I would allow her to come in the next day for the call backs. I said yes, just so I could get a look at this woman. Wouldn't you know it, she didn't show up on Thursday either,

Woody Allen once quoted WC Fields who said the leaders of the world should gather in a stadium and beat each other up with socks filled with manure. I really wish I had on that day....

Hollywood Reporter - 1001 and one uses

Every industry has it's leeches, scumbags, blood-suckers, hanger's on, creeps, misfits and malcontents. Take the film industry for instance. There are two sides to this multi billion dollar industry. There is the side that houses the talent. Be it writers, directors, actors or crafts people. These are the people who create. They give a little piece of themselves to every production they work on. Paid or unpaid, rich or poor. Creative people are the juice that makes the movie industry go.

Then you have the "other side". Agents, Managers, paparazzi, public relations people, ad people, magazines all who make a buck on the sweat of others. You would think they would be a little more appreciative of the pound of flesh they dine on every night. But of course they are not. That is because they are not human beings. They are parasites. Pilot fish hitching a free ride on the underbelly of artists. They are for lack of a better word, "Pods".

I just got off the phone with two such pods.

My current film project which is in pre-production right now is set to shoot in Aug. As I always do I like to put an announcement in Hollywood Distorter ( mean Reporter) for two reasons. Firstly, it often brings potential contacts of people who want to be involved with the production who we might not have heard from otherwise and secondly and certainly the more frivolous reason, you need HR for the IMDB to list your movie. The call it an official listing. While I am already on IMDB some of my crew is not and for folks in the industry having an imdb listing is like their coming out party. Sad but true. The IMDB has replaced all other sources for legitimizing ones career in the movie business.... However, I digress.

So, having done this before I know the drill full well. You must have your paperwork in by Thursday to be published the following Tuesday, which I did (I had it in Monday night just to make sure). When Tuesday rolled around, there was no listing of the movie. So I called up HR and asked them what happened. Well it seemed the rocket scientist who's job it is to input them couldn't print the jpeg files I sent her. So instead of using the contact number on the form and in the email to call me and ask me to send her the form in a pdf file, what did this cranially challenged person do?

2 guesses....

Wrong ....

Wrong....

She did nothing. If she worked for me I would have fired her on the spot. But clearly HR has a less stringent performance standard than me.

So I re-send the files as pdf files and this female version of Rainman assures me she will put it in right away and it will be updated.

If you have read this far then you will probably be able to figure out what happened next.

Nothing.

So I called today to find out what happened. I spoke to another "Pod" this one dimmer than the last one. When confronted with the facts, her well thought out answer to why my production listing wasn't posted was, as far as I am concerned, indicative of every flunky, non hacker dim witted foob on this god foresaken planet.

Ready?

"SHE DIDN'T GET TO IT".

Yup that was her answer. It's not like I asked her to clean my garage or pick up my dry cleaning. She has one job. Input production listings. Listings that are in by a certain day and time. Mine was. She didn't get to it. If she worked for me I would have fired her on the spot ... Again.

She didn't get to it. Then this nitwit makes it sound like it was my fault. Well needles to say I was less than thrilled. She validated her response by saying that the listings on Hollywood reporter are free and that they don't have to post them. I reminded her that she wouldn't have a job without the listings so unless she fancies inspecting underwear in some assembly line for 4.50 and hour, I would treat the people who keep her employed with a little more respect. Of course that fell on deaf ears as these people don't respect anyone. These people are dermatophytes (that's a fungus that lives underneath your toenails). They are the stuff that overtime collects underneath your BBQ grill that you need to scrape away with some kind of bizarre gardening trowel.

For hundreds of years non artistic people have been making a living off of the creativity of others. We have finally raised it to the level of art. Lets make it official:
HOLLYWOOD DERMATOPHYTE: A fungus that gets under the creative toe nail and feeds on the artistic cuticles of others.
I think I am going to send this to Wikipedia.

That's if a I get to it.

The Madness of Snow and Canned Meats

You ever notice that the moment a snowflake falls from the sky, people lose their minds?

You would think they just got a bulletin over the radio "Aliens coming, you must stock up on Dinty Moore..."

They rush to the supemarket and buy more canned goods, milk and water than any one family could possibly consume in a month.

Snow happens people. It happens every year. Sometimes more, sometimes less but it always shows up some time between November and March. So why the big to do? Not too mention the fact that it goes away just as quickly, (assuming you live a reasonable distance from the equator) The Arctcic Circle not withstanding. So they rush around like headless chickens, preparing for this foreign matter that is falling from the sky. And how do they do this?

In a CAR ...

A heavy steel machine that quite often has a mind of its own. Even more so when the roads turn to freezing white sheets of slippery glass. This is just the time you want panicky people driving like mad to snatch up the last cans of SPAM and Hormel Chili that the Stop and Shop has on it's shelf. What a sad eulogy it would be if you wrapped you car around a tree on the way to make this all important culinary purchase ...

"Here lies Gern Blansten, he loved canned meats ...."

But it's never that simple. Because they never go alone. They want to take a couple of us with them. So they blow through red lights instead of trying to stop. Or worse they try to stop, but when you are going 50mph in a 12mph zone and you jam on the brakes with snow on the ground, the car does the exact opposite of what you intended. It speeds up. Fancy that.... Better to stay home, lock the doors and wait for the Spring ....

... Of course then you have the rainy season. Umbrella anyone? ....

I'm Talking to you Dummy.

Random Thoughts In The Wee Hours

I just finished watching the movie "Dummy" with Adrien Brody and Milla Jojovich. It was cute and amusing. I will not put on my filmmaker hat for this one. I will address this as regular person who knows very little about film.
Ventriloquists. What is up with them. Think about this for a second. You take a guy (or a gal, but lets say guy for the sake of argument), you take a guy, sit a block of wood on his lap and he basically talks to himself.

Now, (stay with me here, this is where it gets good) if this same person had, say a watermelon on his lap or perhaps a gravy boat, and started talking to it (and then making it talk back) you could assume with a modicum of accuracy that this person is a whack job and should be in a nice padded room where he can't do any harm to himself or the fine china. Swap out said gravy boat for a a block of wood with a mouth and we pay him to entertain small humans and old people.

Now here is the other interesting thing. I think ventriloquists tend to entertain the elderly and the very young for one simple reason. Neither of them can really run away. They are pretty much stuck there. No hope of escape. And you notice that niether the elderly nor the extremely young ever call up the local ventriloquist union hall (or wherever it is they congregate) and say "Hey, we need Mr. Phips and Sparky over here right away!" No, it's always some 36 year old activities director or a parent in their late twenties. Not to mention the fact that as soon as the Ventriloquist shows up, said Activities Director and Parents make a bee-line for the break room or the back deck (respectively). They don't actually hang around to watch the psychopathic behavior taking place in the common room/TV room. But there's more. While the psychopath talks to himself, inevitably a child will begin to cry hysterically (not because she is scared, but because of the sheer pity she feels for this poor soul talking to a potential hat stand or salad spoon). And then ultimately an elerly person will wet themselves. No reason, the elderly just do that.

So tell me. What is the fascination? I mean, you know the dummy isn't alive. You know it's not talking. So basically you are sitting there watching this guy (usually in a bad suit and bow tie) making jokes and laughing at them. All I can think of is the awful ventriloquist in "Broadway Danny Rose". Barney Dunn. And as Woody says, "When they can't get an animal act they call Barney". At least Barney Dunn was funny, because he stuttered (perhaps that's cruel) but hey, show biz is brutal. Really it's enough already with the ventriloquists.

Now, let's talk about Mimes....

RE-POST: Happy Battle of Appomattox Court House - Day

How many folks out there knew that 141 years ago today Robert E. Lee surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House Virginia, which, for all practical purposes ended the War Between the States or The American Civil War as it is commonly called.
Over 600,000 Americans gave their lives (that's on both side folks) fighting for causes they believed in. Over 1.2 million men fought in that war.
For my money, the conflict that began on April 12, 1861 and ended almost 4 years to the day of those first shots being fired on Fort Sumter, are some of the most important in our history as a country. Unfortunately, this stuff isn't taught in the schools anymore. They spend 4 days on the Civil War.

Day 1 - Abraham Lincoln is elected President
Day 2 - The South secedes from the union because they don't want to give up their slaves (is the over simplified or what?)
Day 3 - The Union Wins
Day 4 - Lincoln Frees the slaves and then is shot..... NEXT!

What is most important about the ACW (American Civil War) is that is was the ultimate test. That's right a test. Let me explain,

The American Revolution, everyone would agree is a pretty important event in our history. Let's face it without that when would we shoot off fireworks and eat burgers and dogs. (I kid here .... )
The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution all would agree are pretty important documents. so important that Dolly Madison thought to roll them up and send them out of the Capitol before the British could burn it down.

However ....

Had the South successfully seceded from the Union it all would have been for naught. It had only been 77 years since the Constitution had been ratified by all of the States and 88 years since the signing of the Declaration. This was a brand new country. This conflict was the test of this new experiment called Democracy. Nobody had ever attempted this. It was unknown territory. This was the first major bump in the historical road. If the Union failed, then Democracy failed.

Now, I understand all of the arguments regarding "States Rights" and I agree with some of them. I also believe that the majority of Soldiers who fought for the Confederacy believed they were fighting against Northern Aggression not for the institution of slavery (as most of them neither owned or would ever own slaves).

All of this aside, what this bloody and costly conflict accomplished was solely the unification of this country. The South has never gotten over the loss and the disaster that was "Reconstruction". And while it's nice to think that the war ended Slavery, the reality is that within 20 years the institution of slavery would have been eclipsed by the coming industrial revolution if for no other reason then economic ones. I am not saying that Slavery was not an abomination because it was. But the myth that Abe Lincoln was the great emancipator and that he freed the slaves needs to be put to bed. Again, this is a whole other piece of history.

My point here, despite all this historical drivel that some of you may find interesting, is that our history, yours and mine (If you are an American) is being erased by PC curriculums, poor understanding of history by our teachers and a general lack of interest by most of the population of this country.

Lets face it, Memorial Day is a day for BBQ's, Car Sales and 3 day weekends.

For most people the 4th of July is about fireworks and Beer. The date has no meaning. How many people do you know can name ten of the men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Veteran's Day comes and goes with little fanfare at all. Presidents day is basically an advertisement for every Motor Company Sale of the year.

Well today, April 9, is about as important a day as any of the ones I mentioned. It is a day that ended a war that took more American lives than all the other wars we have fought put together. It ended a war that split this country to it's core and had brother literally killing brother. It was a war that tested the very fabric of what our founding fathers stood for against King George and his parliament and fought and died to give us.

On this Day 141 years ago, April 9, 1865 General Grant could have spanked the naughty "Rebels" by arresting and trying their officers as traitors. By imprisoning the entire Army of Northern Virginia (which at the point only had about 15,000 men).

But he didn't.

He gave parole to the entire army and made sure they were all fed and clothed for their long trip back South, Back Home.
He allowed the officers to keep their swords. He refused Robert Lee's sword, He gave them their dignity, He understood that this day, was a day for healing. The union troops were instructed not to jeer or cheer after the surrender. During the surrender, General Joshua Chamberlain saluted the Southern General John B. Gordon out of respect and it is still talked about to this day. They all understood what was at stake. They all understood that this was history.

It is a day that represents the very best of what we as Americans can be. That we are all Americans. Contrary to what some folks on the "right" would like to believe. We are all Americans. Proud Americans, Proud to live in the greatest country on the planet. Proud enough to point out when we think our country and government is going down the wrong path. That is what this day means. These men fought and died to preserve my right to disagree at the top of my lungs with the current administration. It doesn't make me un-American. It makes 100% American.
That's what today means.
God Bless The Union and God Bless America.

We're Born Again, There's New Grass On The Field

Opening Day.
All the sins of last season are washed away.
New opportunities for greatness shine like a freshly chalked first base line.
Pedro's toe, Delgado's shoulder and Beltran's bat.
Opening day at Shea stadium is like being born again. Every Met fan has the September mantra burned into thier souls. Maybe next year...
Well this is next year. This is the year we have been waiting for since Oct. 1986.
This is the team.
This is the year.
Opening Day 2006.

"Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes
You know I think it's time to give this game a ride
Just to hit the ball and touch 'em all - a moment in the sun
It's gone and you can tell that one goodbye"

Play Ball.

SONS OF BITCHES AND THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT

SONS OF BITCHES AND THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT
3 Episodes and they caved. "The Book of Daniel" is no more.
NBC should change their name to the "Jellyfish Channel". What happened to freedom of speech? What happened to creative freedom? I'll tell you what happened. These are just words that mean nothing unless the bible thumping, witch burning, gay bashing, jew hating, liberal loathing white rednecks all over this country say it doesn't offend them. Well you know what?
YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
Yes I liked "The Book of Daniel". I thought it was a well written, intelligent and thought provoking show. Clearly these are all things that the the religious right doesn't like or understand. These people are so frightened of ideas not there own that they must shout all other thoughts down. So we burn witches, beat up homosexauls, burn down synagogues and keep women from voting or working. It definitely explains how President Pin head got elected (well stole) a second election.

Fear of new ideas is an epidemic below the mason dixon line as well as the "fly over states". READ A BOOK YOU MORONS (besides the bible). Oh I forgot, you have burned anything worth reading.

These are the same mental midgets who believe that "Intelligent Design" is a scientific theory. Well they do have a handful of Scientists who back that up. Of course they are good christians also so they will go directly to hell if they dissent.

You fuckers have co-opted my country and I am getting tired of it. Your time is coming. Your president has screwed up this country and world for the last 5 years and the backlash that is coming is going to suck the black velvet Jesus paintings right off your walls like an Atlantic City Hooker at closing time. You're not Americans. You're biggots, racists, homophobes, neophobes and any other phobe I can think of. Fear is way of life for you. Fear of strangers, fear of change fear of things you don't understand (which is just about everyhthing that has happened after 1776.) This country wasn't made for you. You just think it is. It's easy for our dim-witted president to shut out the rest of the world, but the world is watching, The USA has become a laughing stock in the international community and I am tired of it.

And NBC, I am finished with you also. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. ASHAMED. Ask yourself why people with intelligence watch more pay TV than Network. I am sure you will just fill the void with another reality show. Perhaps the religious right would approve of Jesus TV. ALL JESUS, All the Time.

NBC = National Bitch (of the Religious Right) Company.

Spin Bob Spin

Never under estimate the truly clueless...
There I am sitting on the subway, heading back to Brooklyn after a very satisfying evening watching my Rangers beat Toronto. I am sitting there minding my own business when who should step onto the train but Bob Marley. OK it wasn't Bob Marley, hell it wasn't even Jacob Marley though a dead man would have been more talented. Two hundred dollar leather shoes, three hundred dollar (at least) 3/4 length P-Coat, Exquisitely manicured corn rows that fell gingerly down around his shoulders and a better than decent acoustic guitar with the appropriate hundred and fifty dollar gig bag. The man could not play a lick. Why is it that people who can't play or sing choose to defame Bob Marley. What did Bob ever do to them? "Redemption Song" becomes "Revulsion Song" and then he wants me to give him money for it. The guy's dressed better than me for Christ's sake. If the guy really feels the need to express himself (poorly) then why doesn't he sing a Madonna song or better yet, Mariah Carey. Bob certainly doesn't deserve this kind of treatment and I am sure he is spinning like a whirlpool dishwasher in his grave.

Speaking of Bob's, how many times do I have to hear "Knocking on Heaven's Door" butchered but by some rich white kid from Westchester who is spending the day slumming in his ghetto gear and pre-treated dread locks who couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle on it yet they think they are channeling Bob Dylan, who by the way isn't dead though based on his association with "Cold Mountain" and the subsequent video you might wish he was. (was that the longest run on sentence in history or what).

It reminds me of those High School parties where inevitably somebody would produce a guitar and every guy in the room would take a turn trying to get through bad renditions of "Horse with No Name", "Stairway to Heaven" and "Freebird". Everything is great, the girls hang around and sing the guys are feeling really cool until the guy who really knows how to play shows up and screws up everything. Then it's time for the hacks to go back into the kitchen and the backyard in order to find that one girl who is drunk enough to think that getting naked with them is a good idea but not so drunk that they throw up on the wanna be Neil Youngs/Gordon Lightfoots or accuse them of heinous things the next morning.

But Buskers in the subway are the worst. They always pick some song that they have no chance in hell of being able to preform well, yet, there they are. It's kind of like "Idol America" that way, with the edition of the pungent aroma of urine and subway grime. A joy for one and all to behold. Now isn't that kind of entertainment worth a quarter.

The Grass is always greener on somebody else's blog

OK, so LiveJournal was really no better than Blogger and much more difficult to deal with, so I am back on Blogger. I will transfer some of the more interesting things from over there here just to keep things tidy.

There are some interesting things on the horizon. Another film project perhaps .... Mum's the word for now.

"AQT" is just about done. I will be listening to the final sound mix next Thursday and I am told the color correction is just about done also.

I have one other little tidbit happening which I am hesitant to mention as that is always the death knell for everything I do, but, there is a chance, that you may be able to read my ramblings at a bookstore near you in the coming future ... more than that I cannot say....

Moving to a New and Happy Place

I have had it with blogger. Had it.
SO
This is where you can now find my ranting and raving.

If you are interested.

http://fieldingmellish.livejournal.com/

Come play.

Idol America

Tonight for the first time I watched “American Idol”. I have avoided it (and the rest of the reality TV universe) with extreme prejudice for quite some time. Unfortunately tonight was a perfect storm. There was very little else on the tube (see the March 14th blog on Network TV) and I needed to get some writing done so I left Fox on after Seinfeld ended. So on comes “Idol America” excuse me, I mean “American Idol”. I couldn’t be bothered to turn the channel so I let it play.

I have one question and one question only.

Do these people have no shame?
Clearly the answer is no,

Now I am not comparing them to the Jerry Springer crowd (though there is clearly some cross over). These people are worse than horrible. I hade to mute the TV for a number of these freaks. It’s one thing to get up at a Karaoke bar when you are polluted on margaritas and belt out “Lady Marmaleide” but it is something completely different to do it on National TV and then get angry when Simon tell you that you sing like crap and should get out of the business.

Everybody rags on Simon for being a prick, well you know what? The man is right on the money. These people suck and the music business just like the film business doesn’t cut anyone slack. He is just doing what any record company A&R exec would do. He’s just doing it on TV.

The funny thing is, the worse these people are, the more outraged they are when they don’t’ make the cut. They blame the judges. “The judges don’t know what they are talking about.” “The judges don’t know talent when they see it.” The trouble is they are not seeing it. There was one freak on tonight who was so sure he was going to win the whole thing that when he came in to sing he boasted how he can sing on 3 different levels. He was so bad you couldn’t even say he sang poorly, because that would do an injustice to people who sing poorly. They actually gave him a second chance (which I didn’t understand, other than it made for good TV) and when he came back he actually sang the bawdy Frat song from “Trading Places” of course none of the judges knew that (it just shows how poorly they are schooled on pop culture) and he did it so poorly that it was embarrassing. When he walked out of the room the second time he still didn’t get the fact that he really should never be allowed to sing anywhere at anytime ever again.

My assumption is that at the end of this blight on Network TV they actually pick somebody who has what the marshmallow fluff pop music industry is trying to shove down the public gullet. But at what cost? Thousands of people with no talent line up for days to audition for something they have no shot at getting and this is considered “Must See TV”. It’s almost more embarrassing for the folks who invest so much in this show and who they are going to “vote” for. All of these folks need to get a life.

Or a Karaoke machine….

The Book of Daniel - At least for now...

Did anyone watch the inaugural episode of "The Book of Daniel"? Well I did.
I liked it. Really liked it. Which of course means it won't last five episodes.
And why won't it last five episodes you ask?
Well there are a number of reasons.
1. It is well written.
2. It has a great cast (really really top quality)
3. It is funny yet serious.
4. The humor is intelligent and requires a little effort.
5. It co-stars Jesus, an adulterous bishop and a vicodin popping priest who has a gay son, a dope dealing daughter, an alcoholic wife (who has a lesbian sister) and an over-sexed adopted son of Asian descent.

All the makings for a TV show with a conservative bullseye on it's back. There hasn't been a show with this kind of quality character development and risk taking story line since "Soap" (which by the way had the 1st primetime gay character, faithfully portrayed by Billy Crystal).

This past Monday night I am sure there were conservative heads exploding all over this country.
I can hear them popping ...
At least for the next couple of weeks ....

And a happy new year to all.

I realize I have been away awhile and I am sure there is no one reading this blog anymore, but as I really only write for myself anyway I shall continue to waste people's time with my observations.

Observation #1: The New Year came very early this year ...

Observation #2: I really miss reruns of "The Odd Couple" "The Honeymooners" and "Hogans Heros".

Observation #3: After 5 days of MTA strike hubub on every TV channel, radio staion and newspaper during X-Mas week, it is now as if it never happened. Either New Yorkers have very short memories or are very forgiving (I would suggest the former). I myself am still pissed off and hope our less than useless Governer sticks by his guns and presses every person that walked off the job, the union leaders, and the union for the millions of dollars of fines levied by the courts.

Observation #4: Toilet training of a 3 year old girl is only enjoyable in that it is the only road to the end of diapers.

Observation #5: The film buisness still sucks, but I don't care, my last film is just about finished.

Observation #6: I am enjoying watching the current administration and the Republican party single handedly tear itself apart with no help from the spineless Democrats.

Observation #7: Even though I am no big fan of sub zero weather, NYC just isn't NYC when it is 54 degrees in January.

Observation #8: Coke Zero is addictive.

Observation #9: Being married for 9 years has been easier than I ever thought it could have been (clearly I chose the right person).

Observation #10: I hope 2006 is better than 2005 (and 2005 wasn't as bad as it could have been ....)