Friday, April 14, 2006

The Madness of Snow and Canned Meats

You ever notice that the moment a snowflake falls from the sky, people lose their minds?

You would think they just got a bulletin over the radio "Aliens coming, you must stock up on Dinty Moore..."

They rush to the supemarket and buy more canned goods, milk and water than any one family could possibly consume in a month.

Snow happens people. It happens every year. Sometimes more, sometimes less but it always shows up some time between November and March. So why the big to do? Not too mention the fact that it goes away just as quickly, (assuming you live a reasonable distance from the equator) The Arctcic Circle not withstanding. So they rush around like headless chickens, preparing for this foreign matter that is falling from the sky. And how do they do this?

In a CAR ...

A heavy steel machine that quite often has a mind of its own. Even more so when the roads turn to freezing white sheets of slippery glass. This is just the time you want panicky people driving like mad to snatch up the last cans of SPAM and Hormel Chili that the Stop and Shop has on it's shelf. What a sad eulogy it would be if you wrapped you car around a tree on the way to make this all important culinary purchase ...

"Here lies Gern Blansten, he loved canned meats ...."

But it's never that simple. Because they never go alone. They want to take a couple of us with them. So they blow through red lights instead of trying to stop. Or worse they try to stop, but when you are going 50mph in a 12mph zone and you jam on the brakes with snow on the ground, the car does the exact opposite of what you intended. It speeds up. Fancy that.... Better to stay home, lock the doors and wait for the Spring ....

... Of course then you have the rainy season. Umbrella anyone? ....

8 comments:

Frances D said...

Excellent post. I had to read it twice.
Found you on BlogExplosion.
Take care

"ME" Liz Strauss said...

You write really well. You hear the music in the language and put the laughter between the words. I really enjoyed reading that. Thank you. I needed a good read.

Pauline Evanosky said...

Have you ever seen a Southern Californian in the rain? Same thing!

The Radical Notion said...

This is true. Here in New England, the minute people hear a snow storm is coming, it's off to the grocery to stock up like Y2K is happening again.

Anonymous said...

Same thing in a Texas Hill Country rain. I worked in a grocery store while in school. Never failed that when it rained everyone wanted to get their groceries and head home, so I'm standing in the rain, loading their groceries (back in the days of paper sacks) into their car trying not to tear the bags, while they sit in the driver's seat saying, "I gotta get home!"

Attila the Mom said...

OMG! You are so right!

Great post!

Unknown said...

You're absolutely right! Especially in the South! I'm a Southerner at heart, but I now live in CO. Folks here don't have too much trouble with snow (except those of us who are transplants from the south), but when it RAINS?? Watch out!!

Anonymous said...

This is so funny but so true. As a native of Pennsylvania it was milk, bread and toilet paper.
I was a manager in a deli in my younger years and I hated it when the forecast called for a snow. This isn't Little House on the Prairie , for goodness sake. :o)~